My newest adventure is completely within myself. I’m confronted with a new set of problems. Not that any of these problems are new, mind you, but they have never grouped themselves together in quite this fashion before. And with them all coming together to form a great big unhappy family in my brain, I’m left feeling a bit depressed. Very blue. Colors are trying to change; grays a bit grayer, shadows a bit darker. Out of the shadows come whispers of insecurities, of inadequacies, comparisons, confusion. I feel caught up in it, trapped and alone, like a “poor player who struts and frets his hour upon the stage and then is heard no more.” Broken, but never put together in the first place.
No matter the storm there are rays of hope, something or another to remind one of the reality of this great life.
Yesterday’s rays came from an Owl City song; The Technicolor Phase, which (to me anyway) is about the fact that God created everything, including the colors that are everywhere, and that no matter where you go He will be with you.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_b7mT8ihGfQ
This morning the reminder came through Deuteronomy, chapters 4 and 8: “Only be careful, and watch yourselves closely so that you do not forget the things your eyes have seen or let them slip from your heart as long as you live” (Deut. 4:8a); and the beginning of chapter 8, particularly this verse: “Know then in your heart that as a man disciplines his son, so the Lord your God disciplines you”(Deut. 8:5; but read the first 4 verses with it). I suppose I’m a lot like the Israelites; quick to forget unless reminded to remember.
One day it’ll all make sense.
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