remembering

I'm leaving in a week, so naturally I'm in a very reflective mood. What a couple of years its been. I feel like I've grown quite a bit, and at the same time, failed in many ways. One thing I regret is expecting. I expected the AET group to be like military dependents; I expected the group to be diverse, welcoming, and world-savvy in the same way as military dependents are. And because that wasn't the case things were a bit difficult. For the first six months or so, I tried to be part of the group, tried to fit in, to be involved. It was a difficult six months. It seemed like everyone pretty much knew everyone else and I didn't know anyone. Everyone was making plans with everyone else and I wasn't a part of it. Eventually I got the feeling that I was more of a bother to the group than anything else, so I stopped trying and kept to myself. The most blatantly obvious example of my bothersome-ness to the group was at this past year's welcome party for the new AETs. I told people that I would be a few minutes late; when I got there, everyone acted like they were surprised I was there (even though I had pre-paid and talked to people about it) and so hadn't saved me a seat. So they put me at a table by myself in the corner with my back to everyone. And when I speak it tends to be taken the wrong way or I get that glazed-over eyes look. It's been a silent two years. I don't have any bad feelings toward anyone here; that's just the way it is. My life experience is rather drastically different from theirs so I suppose such things should have been expected. Some of the really rewarding relationships were with people that don't speak my language- my kids. My 6th grade girls and I have inside jokes despite the language barrier. I'll really miss all my "monkeys," as they call themselves. So many good times, so many learning experiences. I look back at these two years and smile, refusing to forget the bad or the good and learning from both. Japan...goodbye, my friend. さいよなら。