bird in a cage

Closing her weary eyes, the world changes. Four white plaster walls became a light salty breeze again, a misty mountainous castle view, a colorful loud marketplace, a green field with sheep; each adventure coming together to form the closest thing she's ever known to "home."

The time of waiting, of in-between, seems infinite when it is upon her. The lightning laces across the sky and the rain sings on the tin roof as if it understands her frustration. Memories spring up and haunt both day and night, taunting, tempting her to join them in bouts of nostalgic depression. Like an exotic bird trapped in a cage, alone except for its memories of flight.

"Wait," He whispers, so quietly she could easily fool herself into thinking she didn't hear. "Wait here for now, beloved; be still, and quiet, and listen. Wait just a little longer; you can't imagine the riches I have in store for you."

6/27/11

I'm feeling rather defeated these days; inadequate, rundown, perhaps a bit blind. Tired. Disappointed.

"But take heart; I have overcome the world." -Jesus

I ran into this scrap from the blog of Adam Young (Owl City); I don't think he'd mind if I share:

"

If you stop fearing the Lord, you will stop fearing SIN. And when that happens, everything you deem unthinkable suddenly becomes tolerable, passable, admirable, moral, legal, and even applaudable. Dear Lord Jesus, help me to uproot such seeds of sin growing in my life and allow me to draw down daily grace so that I may glorify You with every fiber of my being. Take control of my soul, my mind, my emotions and my will. I long to follow You by all that I am even though it’s obvious I need more grace than I thought.

"

the boys and girls

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ucyH0LOYD5c

A moment

I found a moment today; or rather, a moment found me. Collapsing onto my bed after a hard days work and with Zoe Keating playing in the background, I opened right up to 1 Cor. 9:22. Paul has a way of punching me in the face no matter how many times I read his letters. I am no Paul; and yet I was called to be like one much better; the best; the Perfect One.

I am a woman, and as such, I play the comparison game. But to whom am I comparing myself? Lately, it seems, not to anyone that matters. I will never be that cool girl, you know, the one with beautiful thick dreadlocks and tattoos and piercings; or that serenely beautiful girl; the flawless tall one, graceful and talented. As much confidence and love as I have for myself, for who and how God made me, I still idiotically find myself occasionally playing the comparison game with them, most of the time subconsciously. This time I am conscious of it, and conscious of the fact that I'm comparing myself to an image, an idea, a concept...imperfection; a mist, a vapor. What a distraction. What a blasted waste of time. And for what? What exactly am I afraid of?

Like Paul, I must be all things to all people. That means setting my mind not on foolishness but on Love. Love--which is patient, kind, rejoices with the truth, bears, believes, hopes, endures, doesn't envy or boast, isn't arrogant or rude, doesn't insist on its own way, isn't irritable or resentful, and is...fearless. Fearless. Now that is something to play the comparison game with. Thanks again, God, for using Paul to giving me another moment.

Zoe Keating: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uIdgNJ4ufkU

What if

What if I truly loved my neighbor as myself? What if I let my walls crumble? What if I actually listened, even when I didn't feel like it, even when I found the speaker annoying? What if I purposefully, mindfully, remembered? What if I stopped being afraid?

What if we all did?

The Revolution Will Not Be Televised

I'm sad to hear today that Gil Scott-Heron has died. Unlike most modern hip-hop and rap, this man actually had things to say worth listening to. No meaningless jibber with the backdrop of clubs, scantily clad women, or fancy cars for him; he would rather make you think. I'm no expert on the man, but here is what he's most known for:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rGaRtqrlGy8&feature=player_embedded

Sympathy

I KNOW what the caged bird feels, alas!
When the sun is bright on the upland slopes;
When the wind stirs soft through the springing grass,
And the river flows like a stream of glass;
When the first bird sings and the first bud opes,
And the faint perfume from its chalice steals —
I know what the caged bird feels!

I know why the caged bird beats his wing
Till its blood is red on the cruel bars;
For he must fly back to his perch and cling
When he fain would be on the bough a-swing;
And a pain still throbs in the old, old scars
And they pulse again with a keener sting —
I know why he beats his wing!

I know why the caged bird sings, ah me,
When his wing is bruised and his bosom sore,—
When he beats his bars and he would be free;
It is not a carol of joy or glee,
But a prayer that he sends from his heart's deep core,
But a plea, that upward to Heaven he flings —
I know why the caged bird sings!

~Paul Laurence Dunbar

Searching for an open door...